I haven’t been on the dating scene for years but while talking to a friend, I found out that ghosting is quite common these days. She said she’s been ghosted a few times, left wondering why the person she was dating just dissapeared without warning. No texts, calls, reasons why they stopped communicating. No explanation at all.
Have you been ghosted? If you’re someone who values communication, you may be wondering why someone would just leave you hanging like that.
Ghosting hurts because it’s pure rejection without the opportunity to talk it out. You might be left wondering what happened, what you did to contribute towards it and you’re left alone with your emotions.
So how do you deal with it and move on? According to Psycom, Associate Professor of Psychology and Chair of the Psychology Department at Albright College in Pennsylvania, you should avoid reminders of your ex. She says, “they’re likely to cause painful emotions to resurface, and they won’t help you get emotional closure or insight into why they broke up with you.”
Don’t go over old texts, photos, through their social media account, and listen to songs that remind you of them, even though you may be looking for answers. Instead, try to find a new distraction. The ghosting wasn’t your fault – you did nothing wrong.
This reveals how they deal with confrontation. They run and lack courage to tell you how they’re really feeling. So you’re better off without this person – move on as quickly and completely as you can.
But you may be wondering why it happened.
The reasons men give for ghosting women
Let’s get into the minds of men who ghost. We scoured the internet to find answers as to why men ghost women. According to this Reddit thread, here are some reasons:
Chrisanow9696: Because they stopped putting any effort into conversations. It got to a point where I was the one starting convos and had to keep them going, too. So one day, I just didn’t initiate anything, and haven’t spoken to them since. Hurt for a bit, but I’m okay with it now. They obviously didn’t want to make the effort, and I’m better off not wasting time on someone who has no time for me.
Diablo165: Basically, I discover a personality problem that makes it clear they aren’t and never were worth my time, then I stop liking them and ghosted them.
Unknown: I was initiating everything unless they wanted something from me. They had absolutely no time to talk unless it was on their time. I grew fed up of being what felt like a slave and just decided enough was enough. Never heard from them again.
Jakes1967: After being cheated on by my first three girlfriends, I developed a list of traits and characteristics that when found in a partner, automatically excluded them from future relationships.
One of those was tattoos. I really liked a woman and we had great chemistry. One a date, we went sailing with friends. The women stripped down to bathing suits and she had a small tattoo on her back – instant disqualification.
a_moose_not_a_goose: I don’t ghost people I like.
Yoduh4077: After one virtual date, I realized I don’t like me. And she deserves better than that.
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Bottom line, whatever the reason was, you need to move on and you deserve better. No one wants someone who just leaves without the courage to face their partner and tell them why they want to end it.